True Crimes
For many, the concept of committing a “sin” is a tough thing to grasp. Before I knew Jesus, I’d heard tell of those who professed to be sinners and attempted to convince others of their morally superior perspective.
At that time, the basic concept of sin didn’t mean anything to me. It was used in the context of having broken some secret rules, or at worst, having committed some kind of crime against God. But to me, these always seemed like victimless crimes, since He was God and surely anything I could possibly do wasn’t that big of a deal. Of course, once I was exposed to the Word of God in the book of the prophet Isaiah, this sin idea began to gain traction:
Look, the Lord’s hand is not too weak to deliver you; his ear is not too deaf to hear you. But your sinful acts have alienated you from your God; your sins have caused him to reject you and not listen to your prayers.Isaiah 59:1-2 NET
But still, the term sin itself didn’t mean much, and I confess that, even after 20+ years, it still seems rather powerless to me. While many of us may have diminished the term’s true effect without realizing it, recently I discovered that I had.
While, intellectually, I know that my sin hurts God, the reality is that I think a greater part of me doesn’t quite equate it with the pain of a “true crime.” To me, sin has always been simply a broken command, or a broken promise. Now we know that God has given us the Ten Commandments, and both the Old and New Testaments recognize a multitude of things as sins. The book of Galatians, especially, draws a circle around a specific set:
Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, depravity, idolatry, sorcery, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish rivalries, dissensions, factions, envying, murder, drunkenness, carousing, and similar things. I am warning you, as I had warned you before: Those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God!Galatians 5:19-22 NET
Here we see these things specified in Scripture as either sins of commission or sins of omission James 1:23. But, however you slice it, it still seems to be just a laundry list of things to avoid. They are certainly behaviors or actions that “miss the mark” of how God wants us to live, and are contrary to the way Jesus lived. But why should we feel so bad about it when we do sin?
Now, I am not trying to diminish my guilt in any way! Neither do I stand condemned as the wages of my sin deserve. For the apostle Paul tells me that, “the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans 6:23. For I do regularly acknowledge (confess) my sins to God (mostly all forms of selfishness . . . and arrogance, if I may say so myself), and seek His forgiveness daily, while simultaneously accepting the grace and mercy that has already been bestowed on me as a result of the Cross.
But I guess, at some point, any true sorrow for my actions is diminished by my lack of understanding of how those actions affect God, my Father in heaven. Since I tend only to acknowledge that my sin is wrong, as considered against the standard of God’s Word, my sorrow exists only to the extent that I hate that my sin still has any power over me. I’ve honestly never really considered how my transgressions might actually hurt God.
But in a recent reading through the letter of Paul to the Ephesian church, the following passage gave me pause. Surely I’ve read this passage a good number of times before, but this time, the Holy Spirit spoke to me quite plainly.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV
This reading sparked a brief discussion about forgiveness, and how we must forgive those who hurt us. In most of those situations, those who have hurt us were unaware they’d done so, or are too prideful and hurting themselves to care. We each frequently hear a pastoral message about forgiveness, and yet it’s surprising to discover many “Christians” who still maintain bitterness and unforgiveness in their own hearts, consciously refusing to grant forgiveness to others. There is certainly no justification for this, and they somehow find the ability to dismiss the very words of Jesus who tells us that, “If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”
Anyway, where this conversation brought me was to a new place of understanding. The passage in Ephesians above says “do not grieve the Holy Spirit” by continuing to live as I once did. Well, whenever I find a piece of that “old skin” of mine in the pocket of my new skin and try to put it on, God’s Word says that He is grieved.
It is here that I realized that my sins are not the victimless crimes I always believed them to be. They are indeed thoughtless, careless, reckless, venomous, painful attacks on God Himself. Each time that I cross the line of God’s glorious standard Romans 3:23, I’m literally throwing a “gut-punch” to Jesus.
I considered this because of what it means to forgive another. It’s that great pain and turmoil of just such an emotional assault that causes many people to maintain their bitterness, refusing to forgive those who sinned against them. And if God needed only to forgive me for “breaking the rules” now and again, the sacrificial system God commanded for the Israelites and that culminated in Jesus’ sacrifice as the “Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” John 1:29 seems a bit overkill.
But now I understand the painful turmoil God must endure each time I sin against Him, and now I can more effectively appreciate the mercy He extends me each morning I draw new breath. For Jesus died, once for all, so that all sin, for all mankind, past, present and future, would no longer be counted against us. By this, God will no longer judge the world and condemn them according to their actions. Instead, He will judge everyone according to their faith and trust in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
But as we well know, even as we forgive others, oftentimes the memory of their sins against us persist, and we must continue to forgive them regularly, sometimes daily. So even though God has chosen to forgive us our debts and ultimately “remember them no more,” He is most certainly not immune to the emotional pain we cause Him each time we are disobedient.
Most specifically, this has brought me to a place of understanding that, since my sinful actions cause God grief, I must be much more conscious of how they hurt Him, so that my repentance is fueled by a deeper desire for reconciliation with Him. Instead of treating Him like a punching bag and callously tripping over myself and saying, “Whoops, I did again, baby!”, I can finally allow myself to feel true sorrow for those actions and seek Him with renewed fellowship.
Having then exposed this “numbed” heart of mine, I can now joyously praise my God who loves me, and who has shown me the truth about myself, revealing something that I’d allowed to remain hidden for too long. I no longer see my transgressions as victimless, and I am confident that He will once again be permitted to transform me by “the renewing of my mind” Romans 12:2 as my ongoing repentance now has a power that it never really had.
For without that true repentance, there could be no true change. And without the true understanding of the hurt I’d caused, there was never the full repentance necessary to move forward into what God had next for me. But now, with this new revelation, I am now truly free to “run in the path of His commands”
