Recognizing the Shepherd
Some days, I find myself walking along the relatively narrow footpath, keeping in step with my Lord as He walks beside me. As we walk, the subject of our conversation floats between my own actions, concerns for my family and friends, and how I might learn to better recognize and experience His presence from moment to moment. And as I engage with Him, as we spend time together, His grace washes over me. In His presence, I want to be nowhere else.
But eventually I stop talking, while Jesus, too, remains silent. As our conversation dwindles I drift away from Him, just as a curious child runs off ahead or falls behind knowing Mom or Dad are close by. Away from the dazzling and immersive light of my Good Shepherd, I find myself acutely aware of other shiny and attractive things, as well as the not-so-attractive (though equally fascinating) refuse scattered in and along the gutter of this very road.
What’s interesting to me is that the things that seem to grab my attention are often not very dazzling at all, or even sinful; they are often simply meaningless and distracting objects or activities that keep me from the Shepherd’s presence. And though such things may glitter and perhaps even amaze me, I do recognize them for what they are. I am not deceived, because I can see plainly where they lay. But that doesn’t deter my fascination, and I may still pick up and examine that trash—I may even carry it with me for a time.
But unlike the days of old, I will ultimately discard it; because as I continue along the path I find that such things prevent me from keeping up with Him. I allow myself to become distracted, of course, for the world is full of many interesting people, places and things, many of them quite wonderful. And while the world I live in has been corrupted, there is still much goodness in it and in many of those that inhabit it.
Like the Twelve, I am not in His physical presence at all times, even though I do have access to Him 24/7. Like those that walked with Jesus physically those many years ago, they still had families and communities for whom they cared, in addition to the very charges He put on them in preparation for the building up of His church. So even though He was “with them,” they weren’t always with Him.
As I consider this, I realize that it’s not very realistic for me to expect to experience His presence in every moment of every day. Unfortunately, I had been slightly convinced that if I truly had a good relationship with Jesus, I would indeed learn to “feel” His presence in my life in increasing measure. And buying into this has instead made me feel like I was missing something all the time that spiritual awareness wasn’t there. Somehow, “being spiritual” served as great evidence for my faith, and the lack of one demonstrated a lack of the other.
But I don’t see how this could be, now recognizing this as another subtle trick by the author of lies. So while I do certainly know with great confidence that the Spirit of God will “be with me always”
I do know that God is with me. He is with me on the path of life and He continues to lead me home. But I also know that He gives me the freedom to stop along the way to smell the roses, get stung by a bee, and make mud patties. Chances are I’m gonna get stung, and I’m gonna get dirty!
For He did not call me to become a monk and live as a hermit, devoting my entire existence to His worship. He called me to live a life worth living; a life He found to be worth living and worth dying for. He called me to live my life—the one He has gifted me with—and become the best husband, father, son, brother, friend, coworker and neighbor I can be. And as I walk with Him on this narrow road, He teaches me how to do just that. For each time I stumble, and every time I step off the path to practice what He has taught me, He’s as near as I need Him to be to guide me along the way.
Strangely, it’s only in the community of my fellow sheep that this journey seems worthwhile. It’s often difficult to evaluate my hope of a future when the present presses so greatly upon me. Though the cacophony of “baas” may often overwhelm me, there is no place I’d rather be than traveling on this road with my Good Shepherd and my big sheep family.
And though I will regularly go astray (as sheep often do), when He calls I will come because I know His voice. Many will not come, for they don’t know the Shepherd. But I know Him, and I will follow Him wherever He leads.
