Holding the Reins

Not long ago
My heart was in despair
For I’d hurt those around me
By thought, word, and deed

Chaos gripped me with fear
I couldn’t see the boundary lines
And in a panic, I rushed
To make them clear

It must be this or it must be that
No mediocrity accepted
In or out — on or off
If the wall is firm then I’ll be safe

To the untrained eye
Things often seemed
Very black and white
And if it appeared to live in the haze
I’d push it to either the darkness or light
For clarity gave me peace of mind
While my soul had to live with the blight

My God has been there
Holding the reins
Leading me down the Way
But when they seem too loose
I must be there to take up the slack

Freedom scared me
So I’d confine myself
Because I knew the damage I could do
If allowed to roam

‘O my God,’ I cried, ‘forgive me’
I failed to recognize my doubt
I thought I’d been guiding others
While all the while guiding myself…

Thank you, Lord,
For making it clear
Your Love is my greatest strength
And when I appeared to be in a haze
You drew me back into the light
Your clarity is my peace of mind
While my spirit must rejoice in delight